I woke up this morning and told myself I wasnt going to eat. I didnt, i did really well till night time. So I ate, and ate and ate. And then find myself throwing up again. And its so stupid. Because I threw up about an hour after, so it didnt even do anything. But still I just needed to feel empty again. I had to. I dont feel like Im working unless Im empty. Being full is a sign of failure. jfkfjgdsdljglk. And you know what I was thinking about as I was making myself sick? That I wasnt want of those girls who wished this thing didnt have control over her. I like it there. I like something telling me to be thin. I am so sick in the mind. 

mydearana:

I AM going to be skinny.

I’m fucking sick of hating myself.

skinnyynniks:

I don’t wear short sleeves because I hate my flabby arms.

I don’t wear tight tops because I hate my stomach

I hold my stomach in when I walk, and it hurts my back

I would never ever let anyone pick me up, or piggy back me

I feel like noone will ever love me

This is going to go away, I’m going to make it go away.